


Honeysuckle and Roses

by pouty_hoseok



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alpha Choi Jongho, Alpha Choi San, Alpha Jeong Yunho, Alpha Park Seonghwa, Alpha Song Mingi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Carnival, Crying, Cute, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Kang Yeosang-centric, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Miscarriage, Miscommunication, Omega Jung Wooyoung, Omega Kang Yeosang, Omega Kim Hongjoong, Rain, Sad Kang Yeosang, Sad with a Happy Ending, Shy Kang Yeosang, but it's in the past and it's not between jongsang, not really but kind of, they're in america but it's not relevant to the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pouty_hoseok/pseuds/pouty_hoseok
Summary: Yeosang doesn't need love in his life. Not anymore.Of course, once Choi Jongho enters the picture, he begins to wonder if that's true.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 112





	Honeysuckle and Roses

**Author's Note:**

> so, if you read my most recent short, then you'd know that writing is slowing down for me for a bit, though I won't be going on a hiatus! Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Kisses!  
> (Also I just love jongsang and wanted more content with them, so, well, that's what happened ig)

Yeosang can’t be sure when he met Jongho. Saying they met in their college years or at work would be a lie, though few people know that. Yeosang remembers Jongho as the jockey, popular Alpha from when they were in high school, though he can’t say much else; he knows he’s the younger brother of one of his friend’s friend’s boyfriend. But Jongho is also a year younger than him and Yeosang has never been keen on making friends with his underclassmen (even though he doesn’t exactly have such now that he’s out of school), or so he says. 

He wonders if he can still claim such as he makes out with Jongho. He’s pressed up against a wall, his legs wrapped around Jongho’s torso as he drags his nails over the Alpha’s scalp. They’re at some stupid party or something that Yeosang was dragged to. Jongho had seemed bored and they’d somehow gotten to talking or something, then, buzzed by the alcohol, they’d ended up here. 

“My place or yours?” Jongho says as he pulls away. Yeosang shrugs as he leans forward to nibble on the other man’s neck, humming against his skin. 

“Don’t care,” he mumbles. “Let’s just get out of here, place reeks of pheromones.” 

Jongho laughs, but he puts Yeosang down and they head out. They’re rather civil as they walk the few blocks to Yeosang’s apartment, and they get inside quite easily. 

“Here,” Yeosang says. He heads into the kitchen and bends down, looking for-

“God damn it,” he says. He gets up and throws the fridge door open, grabbing the bottle of vodka. 

“You want any?” he says as he unscrews the cap and drops it on the table, taking a swig. Jongho shrugs as he sits down on the couch, looking around. 

“So,” he says as Yeosang drinks, “we gonna fuck or not?” 

Yeosang chokes. 

“Well, no need to be crass,” he says as he puts the bottle down and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Didn’t take you as the type to wanna stick your dick in the first thing that offers.” 

Jongho shrugs, not saying anything. 

“I dunno. I wouldn’t say I am. I just thought that was why we came here,” he says. Yeosang walks over and sits down, kicking his legs up on the coffee table and drinking more vodka. 

“You wanna fuck me?” Yeosang says after some thought. He looks over. “I wouldn’t mind it.” 

Jongho snorts. 

“Sure,” he says. “You wanna do it in your room or something? I wouldn’t want to stain your couch. Also, do you have condoms?” 

It is, to sum it up, the first night of their arrangement. And Yeosang doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t think much of it when he adds Jongho’s phone number to his contacts, nor does he think much of it when they begin meeting up whenever they have free time and their schedules align because of  _ course _ , Jongho actually does stuff outside of work. And he  _ certainly _ doesn’t think much of it when he sends Jongho his heat schedule, you know, just in case his suppressants mess up or something. And in the beginning, it really  _ is _ nothing. 

Jongho integrates himself surprisingly quickly into the mundane days of Yeosang’s life. Yeosang is a man of routine - he gets up, cleans up, goes to work, comes home, sleeps, rinse and repeat. He goes to the occasional hang out with his friends, but, other than that, Yeosang’s life is just the same thing on loop. And maybe, just maybe, if he ever is to look back on it, that’s why he gets so addicted. He craves the rush he gets from Jongho, the feeling - it makes him feel alive. And, to be honest, he hasn’t felt that way in a long time.

“What happened?” Wooyoung says as he takes a sip from his coffee. 

“Hm? What do you mean?” Yeosang asks, scrolling through his phone. Wooyoung huffs and reaches over, grabbing Yeosang’s phone and putting it face down on the table. 

“You know Hongjoong-Hyung is coming, right?” he says. “I’ll wait until he’s here to ask. You’re nicer to him ‘cause he’s pregnant.” 

“Also, I think Seonghwa-Hyung would flay me alive if he found out I’d been mean to him,” Yeosang says. Wooyoung cackles just as the bell above the café door rings and a couple steps inside. Seonghwa adjusts his bag as Hongjoong rubs his swollen stomach, hanging heavily in front of him. They’re dressed for summer, both of them wearing flowy blouses. Seonghwa, however, has on a pair of normal jeans while Hongjoong’s shirt is tucked into a pleated skirt. 

“Oh, there you are,” Hongjoong says. He waddles over and Seonghwa pulls his chair out for him. 

“No coffee, all right, dear?” the Alpha says. Hongjoong smiles and takes his hand, pulling his husband in for a goodbye kiss. 

“All right, Hwa. I love you, and I’ll call you when we’re finished,” he says. “It’ll be like I never even left, trust me.” 

Seonghwa shakes his head, leaning down to kiss Hongjoong’s hair. 

“I love you too, Joongie,” he says. He squeezes Hongjoong’s much smaller hand in his own, then he walks off with a wave. 

“Gosh, you two are disgustingly domestic,” Wooyoung says. Hongjoong laughs, shifting in his seat. 

“Don’t act like you’re not the same,” he says, patting the other Omega on the head. He sighs, turning to Yeosang and grunting a bit as he tries to lean forward and rest his elbows on the table. He ends up settling for his stomach. 

“You,” he says, pointing at Yeosang, “have something going on. Wooyoung tried to interrogate you?” 

“What?” Yeosang says. “About what?”

“I tried,” Wooyoung says, resting his chin on his palm. He stares straight at Yeosang, forcing the other Omega to keep eye contact or give up. Yeosang stares back, firm and unwavering. “Of course, though, he chose to play dumb.” 

Hongjoong hums, turning to look at the menu. It’s written in chalk on a large blackboard, proudly advertising the drinks and pastries sold. 

“I’m gonna go order, you two stay here,” he says. He narrows his eyes, pointing at both Wooyoung and Yeosang. “I’m watching you.” And then he turns around and waddles toward the cash register. 

As he makes his order, Yeosang leans his cheek against his hand and says, “You know, he’s a lot less threatening now that he’s several months pregnant.” 

Wooyoung muffles his laughter with his hand, and Hongjoong remains oblivious. He walks back over and slowly sits down, sighing. 

“Has anyone told you that you smell different?” Hongjoong says, leaning forward to sniff him. Yeosang gently pushes him away and shakes his head. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Yeosang says. He rubs the nape of his neck with his first and middle finger, then he brings them to his nose to sniff. 

“You smell normal,” Wooyoung says, leaning over to smell him. He shrugs. “Just normal honeysuckle and roses, I guess.”

“Yeah, but it’s  _ happy, _ ” Hongjoong argues. He grunts, trying to lean over his stomach. “He never smells like - like blooming honeysuckle and roses. He - he’s happier. He’s basking in the afterglow of  _ something. _ So, what is it? A promotion? A new pet? A relationship? What happened?” 

Yeosang scowls and shakes his head, just as his phone buzzes in his pocket. A quick glance at the screen confirms his suspicions; it’s Jongho, asking if he’s busy later today. Yeosang pushes the device further into his pocket and turns back to his friends as he contemplates whether or not he should tell them about his new fuck buddy. 

_ Eh, _ Yeosang thinks,  _ it can wait. It’s not that important anyway.  _

He meets Jongho later that week, and then they release whatever tension they were both carrying. It’s easy - this hot, passionate attitude that they share with each other. It’s made even easier by their outside relationship because Yeosang never has to worry about making anything awkward. He’s happy with their arrangement, enough that he can stand falling asleep beside Jongho in his apartment bedroom. 

He wakes up alone because Jongho’s thankfully never been one to stay the night. The one note he’s ever left was his phone number scribbled on a (hopefully) unused tissue, and then, after that, he proceeded to leave Yeosang without a trace of his presence. And that’s fine, really, because Yeosang thrives when he’s alone. He’s always been alone, and he doesn’t expect it to change just because he found someone to help him blow off steam. Besides, the few times he  _ has _ let down his walls for someone, it’s never ended well. It’s best to stay safe in the comfort of his solitude rather than risking another heartbreak by opening up. 

Yeosang’s experience with relationships is limited, though here’s not to say he doesn’t know how it goes. He’s seen enough to know that it isn’t worth it. Wooyoung and San are lucky, as are Seonghwa and Hongjoong. They were all lucky to find each other, and Yeosang can guarantee that it wasn’t easy for anyone. He can admit that they’re all happy and that he’s proud of their relationships, but he isn’t exactly the most motivated person when it comes to seeking out something like that for himself. His past pursuits in romance have all failed miserably, most often ending with Yeosang sobbing his eyes out into his pillow as Wooyoung comforts him. His first relationship had easily been one of the worst (something that isn’t exactly hard considering he’s only had three boyfriends ever), in which his asshole of an ex had cheated on him and then forgotten to tell Yeosang that he’d be fucking his coworker on their anniversary. Bastard Number Two had only gone on enough dates and advanced enough to have sex with Yeosang, and then he’d been cast aside like some sort of toy. His third and final pursuit is probably the worst of all, though, and Yeosang had been stuck in a sort of slump for weeks, During that time, he’d gained weight from how much junk food he’d eaten, something that had only been made worse by his endless marathoning of Studio Ghibli movies. Yep, Yeosang is doing just fine without romance, that’s for sure. 

“You’re really not going to tell me?” Wooyoung says as Yeosang bustles around his apartment. 

“There’s nothing to tell, so no,” Yeosang says. He ignores the loud whine that comes from his friend, though he can’t exactly help how he grumbles under his breath about how hard it is to deal with him. 

“You’re so annoying,” Wooyoung grumps. Yeosang rolls his eyes as he walks over and sits down, crossing his legs. 

“Are you really one to talk?” he says. “Anyway, didn’t you come over here for a reason other than to bother me? Or is that it?”

Wooyoun punches his arm and Yeosang winces, scowling at him. 

“You bitch. I came over because of something actually important this time, not-”

“-Like when you came over because San had giggled? Not some stupid bullshit concerning your boyfriend?” 

Wooyoung shifts in his seat and Yeosang facepalms, sighing loudly. 

“I love you, but why?” Yeosang says. 

“It’s actually important this time, though!” Wooyoung cries. He grabs his bag, yanking something out and then he shoves it at Yeosang. “Look!” 

Yeosang stares incredulously at the little velvet box in his hands, his eyes wide. 

“You’re going to  _ propose _ ?” he cries. 

“No! I found this in San’s bedside drawer!”

Yeosang gapes at his friend. 

“Oh my god, you’re a fucking dumbass,” he says. Wooyoung shrieks and punches him in the shoulder. 

“No, I’m not!” he says, snatching the box back and shoving it into his bag. He shrugs sheepishly and smiles a bit. “I just - you know, I’m curious and stuff and more often than not I make decisions based on my gut so I grabbed the box and now I need to set up a chance to propose!” 

“You want to propose?” Yeosang says. He tilts his head. “I thought-”

“No!” Wooyoung cries. “I have to outdo him on this!”

“ You and San are literally just two halves of the same idiot,” Yeosang says. Wooyoung scowls and shakes his head, clearly annoyed. 

“Well, I need your help,” Wooyoung says. “I can’t just say, ‘oh, do you wanna go on a date?’ for no reason, so I’ve set you up for a double date-”

“Wait, hold on,” Yeosang says, lifting a hand. Wooyoung’s mouth snaps shut. “What did you say? Backtrack a bit, will you?”

“I need your help?” Wooyoung says. Yeosang has to remind himself that murder is illegal, even if Wooyoung’s death would just be that of yet another dumbass.

“No, after that,” Yeosang says, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You’re . . . I set you . . . up?” Wooyoung says. It seems, then, that the realization of what he did dawns on him as he squeaks and covers his mouth with his hands, gasping and staring wide-eyed at Yeosang. “Oh my god, I’m-”

“It’s fine, I’ll make sure he knows I’m not interested,” Yeosang says. He sighs and instinctively checks his phone for a text from Jongho. 

“Yeah, about that . . .” Wooyoung says, trailing off as he wrings his hands. Yeosang’s attention snaps back to him and he stares at his best friend with wide eyes. 

“Wooyoung,” he says slowly, “what did you do?” 

“Look, he’s really nice, I swear!” Wooyoung cries, waving his hands. He frowns, looking uncharacteristically pensive for a few moments before he shrugs and says, “Well, actually,  _ Yunho _ swore that he was nice, but I haven’t . . . well, um, I haven’t actually met him?” 

Yeosang resists the urge to scream or tear his hair out or, most likely, do both at the same time. 

“Who . . . who did you set me up with, Wooyoung?” he says. 

“Um, so, well, you know how Yunho has a little brother?”

_ Wait, what? _

“Uh . . . yeah?” Yeosang says, not exactly liking the direction that this conversation seems to be going in. “What about him?” 

“Don’t play dumb, Yeosang,” Wooyoung says. He leans forward. “You know what.” 

Yeosang muffles his scream into one of the couch pillows, digging his nails into the fabric and imagining that it’s Wooyoung instead. 

“Oh my fucking  _ God, _ Wooyoung,” he grumbles, his words muffled by the pillow beneath his mouth. “Oh my God.” 

“What?” Wooyoung says. “I mean, I can totally cancel it, if that’s what-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Yeosang says. He sighs and sits up.  _ Should I tell him, or should I keep it a secret? _

“Did - do you guys know each other or something?” Wooyoung says. He has his phone out, shit. “Should I cancel it? Are you sure? Don’t lie to me, Yeo.” 

Yeosang shakes his head. 

“No, really, it  _ is _ fine,” he says. He shifts in his seat, sitting on top of his hands. “We - he’s one of my coworkers.” 

“Oh,” Wooyoung says. He sighs with relief, slumping back into his seat. “Well, gosh, you should’ve said that  _ first. _ I thought I’d  _ really _ fucked up.”

Yeosang snorts and shakes his head. 

“No, really, I told you it was fine,” he says. “So, uh, you’ll text me when it is, right?” 

Wooyoung blinks at him a few times, large eyes strangely unreadable. He tilts his head to the side a bit, just enough that Yeosang notices and stiffens in his seat. And then, that stoic expression breaks into a smile as Wooyoung gets up and pulls Yeosang to his feet, hugging him tightly. 

“Okay,” he says softly, his voice trusting in a way that makes Yeosang’s stomach curl guiltily, though it isn’t enough to make him fess up. 

“Does this mean that I  _ actually _ have to act interested?” 

“Yunho said he wasn’t that interested in it, so, I mean, I think you guys’ll be a good match.” Wooyoung steps away and pinches his cheek, earning himself a punch from Yeosang. “What? It’s true!” 

Yeosang scowls at him and shakes his head, shoving him toward the door. 

“All right, goodbye, you brat. You’d better return that ring before San comes to bother me. Ever since Hongjoong-Hyung got pregnant . . . gosh, you two,” he says, shaking his head fondly. Wooyoung blows him a few kisses and then he’s out, closing the door behind him. Yeosang sighs heavily once he’s gone and heads over to his kitchen, pouring himself a drink and pulling out his phone. 

“Hey,” he says when Jongho picks up, “can you come over?” 

Jongho shows up not long after, and he’s a bit sweaty from the summer heat. He toes his shoes off in the front of the apartment and Yeosang can hear him walking toward him as he sits and drinks in his living room. 

“We’re going on a date next week,” Jongho says. 

Yeosang nods slowly, pulling the glass from his lips and putting it on the coffee table. It’s some bottle of wine he got some time ago, though he can’t quite remember when. 

“Did you know?” 

“No.” 

“Can we agree right now that we’re only doing it for Wooyoung and San?” 

Jongho pauses and Yeosang feels his heart rate spike in response to the Alpha’s silence. He reaches for the mug full of red-purple wine, his hand shaking, and then Jongho chooses to speak. 

“Why . . . why would we do it at all?” he says. “It’s not like we need to fake date or anything; we can just tell them it didn’t work out or something.” 

Yeosang looks down at his cup, staring into the wine. For some reason, Jongho’s words send a stab of pain through him, though Yeosang is quick to dismiss it as the alcohol making him emotional. 

“He’d feel really bad,” Yeosang says. Jongho walks over and sits beside him. 

“You guys are close?” he asks. Yeosang nods. 

“He’s like my brother. Of course.” 

“Well . . .” Jongho says, sounding uncertain, “I guess we can fake it.”

Yeosang shoves his wine mug at him. 

“Drink on it,” he says when the Alpha stares incredulously at the offering. “Come on, I know you’re not one to refuse alcohol. I’ve seen you drink before.” 

“Yeah, and I thought you could turn stuff like this down,” Jongho says. But he ends up taking the mug anyway. And then, when they kiss, Yeosang can taste wine on his lips. 

The date comes after far too long and far too quickly. And, soon enough, Yeosang finds himself driving out to some sort of restaurant, chewing nervously on his gloss-covered lower lip. He did his makeup only because Wooyoung would be suspicious of him if he didn’t, and his clothes are somewhat nice. He hopes he looks decent enough for Wooyoung to think he cares but not too much. Yeosang most certainly doesn’t want Wooyoung to start badgering him for more dates. 

“Uh, reservation for four?” Yeosang says when he gets inside. “It was under either Choi, and that’s C-H-O-I, or it was Jung, J-U-N-G. I’m pretty sure that I’m early since it was supposed to be for-”

“Yeosang!” Wooyoung’s voice breaks through the dull hum of the restaurant and Yeosang winces, mumbling an apology to the staff as he follows Wooyoung to their table. 

“Wow, you’re here!” Wooyoung cries. He moves so Yeosang can sit down, San looking curiously at him. Meanwhile, Wooyoung is sliding a glass of wine in Yeosang’s direction, chatting up a storm that San soon joins in the making of. 

“Don’t worry, Jongho didn’t bail on you,” Wooyoung says when he notices Yeosang looking around. 

“Oh, Jongho? That’s who you brought?” San says, looking surprised. Wooyoung nods and leans his head on his boyfriend’s shoulders, humming. San grabs his hand and Yeosang watches them with a mix of jealousy and annoyance filling him. However, he isn’t given long to let them simmer in his chest because San stands up suddenly and waves at someone. Yeosang turns around and stares blankly at Jongho, gesturing to his empty seat. He subconsciously tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, resting his elbow on his hand and avoiding eye contact. 

“Hey, sorry,” Jongho says, his voice strangely warm when he sits down. 

“It’s fine!” Wooyoung chirps. He kicks Yeosang under the table. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Yeosang mumbles. He can feel San look worriedly at him as Wooyoung nudges him with his foot. Yeosang, instead of responding to either of them, reaches for his glass of wine, all too aware of Jongho’s eyes on him. 

The date goes nicely, at least for Wooyoung and San, but, on the other hand, Jongho and Yeosang hardly say a word to each other. Yeosang hates how it’s taking a toll on Wooyoung, the way his eyes dart between them nervously, and how his teeth nibble on his lower lip. San is also affected, tensing and nuzzling his boyfriend while whispering words of comfort to him. 

“Here, I’ll pay,” Yeosang says. He smiles nervously at the other people at the table. “I - uh, my treat. And we should - we should go get ice cream! Yeah!” 

Wooyoung and San stare at him with wide eyes, clearly surprised by Yeosang’s sudden attitude change. But then something seems to click in Wooyoung’s head (and probably San’s too since they share a single brain cell) and he nods quickly, getting up with a grin as he tugs San to his feet.

“Let’s go!” he says happily. Yeosang shakes his head as he grabs Wooyoung and drags him back. 

“We have to get my card back first,” he says. The other Omega looks sheepish, then, as he shrugs and smiles a bit. San, of course, is still terribly endeared by it as he coos and kisses Wooyoung’s cheek. Yeosang refuses to check Jongho’s reaction.

They head out and get ice cream, Wooyoung and San moving to walk ahead of Yeosang and Jongho. 

“You seem like a good friend,” Jongho says quietly as they walk. Yeosang shrugs. 

“He’s a dumbass who happened to be nice to me when I really needed it,” he says. “Thanks for showing up, though. I know you didn’t want to.” 

“Well,” Jongho says, shrugging, “free food is still free, even if it comes with a date.” 

Yeosang hums, nodding. 

“Yeah,” he says. He looks over. “Do you wanna come over after this?” 

Jongho hums and nods, and then they keep walking. 

(And Wooyoung still has yet to propose.)

Yeosang doesn’t think they’ll be going on another date after that. Jongho will come over at night or in the afternoon when they don’t have work, or maybe they’ll hide together in a bathroom stall or closet and Yeosang will bite his or Jongho’s fingers to keep quiet. Yeosang will admit that he’s pretty damn surprised that they have yet to be caught.

“You guys should go on another date with us,” Wooyoung tells him one day with no prompting whatsoever. Yeosang, for a few moments, doesn’t even know what he’s talking about when he looks up, blinking a few times. 

“What?” he says. “What are you talking about?” 

“You and Jongho.” Wooyoung eyes him suspiciously. “You guys seemed awfully chummy back when we got ice cream.” 

“Yeah, it was to give you and San alone time so one or both of you could propose.” He rolls his eyes. “Something both of you have yet to attempt.” 

“I got nervous, okay?” Wooyoung says. He jabs an accusing finger in Yeosang’s direction. “You wouldn’t know.” 

Yeosang shrugs. 

“Good,” he says. He leans back against the island of Wooyoung’s kitchen. “I don’t want to.” 

Wooyoung stares at him, his eyes scrutinizing. 

“Just because you have a few bad experiences-”

“All of them have been bad experiences.”

Wooyoung fixes him with a deadpan look and says, “I’ve had two miscarriages. That’s not going to stop me from trying to have kids with San, is it?” 

Yeosang bites his lip. Wooyoung doesn’t shout to the world that he’s struggled to have children, though he doesn’t shy away from talking about it. The first time had been in high school, and Yeosang can remember how Wooyoung had hugged him and cried in one of the stalls as his unborn baby had come out of his body as a heavy period. The second was a few years ago, and Wooyoung had been with San at that time. The baby was technically an accident, but they’d decided to keep it. Unfortunately, though, Wooyoung had woken up in a blood-soaked bed and had cried so hard he’d thrown up all over himself and his boyfriend. 

“Why should I have to?” he says. 

“Because you’re lonely, dammit, and you’re too stubborn to admit it,” Wooyoung says. He sits on one of the stools and pours Yeosang’s wine into the sink. “Yeosang, the rest of us . . . we’re - Yeosang, you know how much time a kid takes up?” 

Yeosaang sighs and nods. 

“And you know that soon enough all of us are going to have kids. We won’t always be able to let you come over to drink or something and we won’t always be able to come right away. You need to have someone else to lean on.”

“Are you calling yourselves unreliable?” 

“If that’s what it takes, then yes, I’m calling all of us unreliable,” Wooyoung says. He grabs Yeosang’s face and makes him look up. “You need to either learn to get better really fast or you find someone to lean on. Because we aren’t always going to be able to get there right away.” 

“I’ll get a cat,” Yeosang protests. 

“A cat isn’t going to suffice,” Wooyoung says. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Like, what’s so bad about Jongho? I thought he was-”

“He’s my fuck buddy!” Yeosang blurts. Wooyoung’s jaw drops and Yeosang can’t seem to stop himself as he goes on to explain their arrangement, how he and Jongho have been hooking up for a few weeks now. And, of course, how it’s a no-strings-attached arrangement because neither of them has the time required by a healthy relation-

“But aren’t you fucking already?” Wooyoung says, arching an eyebrow and scrunching his face up. “Like, I know that’s not everything a relationship entails, but, uh, you guys are clearly spending a lot of time together, aren’t you?” 

“But-”

“Just one more date?” Wooyoung says, making his eyes even bigger and rounder than usual as he clasps his hands together in front of him. Yeosang bites his lip and sighs, shaking his head. 

“Fine,” he eventually says. “But you’re paying this time!” 

“Lovely,” Wooyoung says, patting him on the head. “I’ll see you there!” 

Jongho seems fine with another date. And, unlike its predecessor, Yeosang doesn’t feel totally awkward the entire time. He and Jongho are, of course, a bit tense, but Yeosang can see how Wooyoung seems so much at ease now that Yeosang and Jongho are talking to each other. And then they go home and Yeosang leads Jongho to his room and wakes up alone the next morning, but it’s fine because everything is always fine with Yeosang. No, siree, he doesn’t  _ ever _ struggle!

At least, not until a second date turns into a third, then a fourth, then a fifth, so on and so forth. And by now, Yeosang is growing suspicious of Wooyoung; there are times when he goes out without a bag or pockets, so he clearly doesn’t have the ring with him. 

“Are you excited?” Wooyoung says as Yeosang tries to figure out what’s going on. “Our next date is so soon! Hongjoong-Hyung and Seonghwa-Hyung and Yunho and Mingi! You know Yunho and Mingi, don’t you? We’re going to go to the carnival and San and I will ride the Ferris-”

“Are you ever going to actually propose?” Yeosang interrupts. He finds he’s strangely unopposed to the idea, but he’ll be dead before he admits it out loud, especially in front of Wooyoung. 

“What?” Wooyoung says, looking over. He frowns and tilts his head, squinting a bit at Yeosang. “What do you mean?” 

“Why are we still doing this?” Yeosang says. “Why do you keep dragging it out?” 

Wooyoung blinks at him a few times, surprised and unsure. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then he opens it again. 

“You like him,” he says. Yeosang hates how sure and firm it is. 

“Why do you keep setting up dates?” 

“You’re happy.” 

Yeosang shrugs. 

“Wooyoung, have you proposed yet? Are you just putting it off for me and Jongho?” 

Wooyoung doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to stare at the cutting board. 

“Yeosang,” he says, putting the knife down, “do you remember Seung- do you remember your last boyfriend?” 

“What does - why is that relevant to the conversation?” Yeosang says, his tone bordering on demanding. There are tears pricking his eyes for some stupid, stupid reason that he doesn’t know.

“Do you?” 

Yeosang grits his jaw and glares down at his hands. 

“Would you be mad at me if I didn’t go? What if I canceled? What would you do then, Wooyoung?” he bites back. Wooyoung turns to fix him with a harsh glare. 

“What’s stopping you?” he says. He grabs his knife and slams the point into the cutting board, making Yeosang jump as he wipes his hands on his apron. “What’s actually stopping you, Yeosang? I know it’s not me, we’ve surpassed that stage - so why haven’t you canceled? I’ve never said you couldn’t.” 

“It was implied,” Yeosang grumbles. “I wanted you to propose.” 

Wooyoung walks over and sits down, squeezing his hands between his thighs as he stares at his feet. 

“Yeosang,” he says quietly, “do you . . . do you like Jongho?”

Yeosang scowls at him. 

“I - I - do you need to know?” he says. The tears drip slowly, sneakily, and they slide down his cheeks, smudging the eyeliner he put on before work. “Is it not obvious?” 

“Yeah.” 

Yeosang looks over at him, his shoulders hunched as he sniffles and wipes his nose. 

“He’s just - he seems like he cares?” he says. He laughs hoarsely. “He - he left a pamphlet at my apartment for rehab. He feels like he’s . . . genuine.” 

“Do you . . . do you think that you might be in love with him?” 

Yeosang digs his nails into the skin of his palms and bites his lower lip, trying (and failing) to hide its quivering. He doesn’t want to answer, but his silence seems to be enough for Yeosang as the other Omega sighs and wraps an arm around his shoulders, tugging him close. 

“I know,” he murmurs, “it’s hard. It’s really hard.” 

Yeosang sniffles and brings his legs up to the couch. 

“I just - it - it’s been . . . I’m scared.” 

“I know,” Wooyoung says, patting the side of his face. “But hey, you’re trying again, aren’t you?” 

“You’re such a dumbass,” Yeosang sniffles. He sits up and wipes his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re putting off  _ proposing _ so I can score a date.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t if I didn’t think you had a chance,” Wooyoung says. He gets up and pats Yeosang on the head. “I have to finish making dinner, though. Will you make some rice?” 

Yeosang laughs as he gets to his feet, then he walks toward the rice cooker to do as asked. 

Before their date, Seonghwa manages to find time to plan a bowling night with all eight of them. Jongho calls Yeosang and they talk about it, and, strangely enough, it feels fine. It feels natural for them to be laughing until their stomachs ache as they try to outdo one another in telling embarrassing stories about their family members or friends. 

_ “-And - and he couldn’t - he offered Mingi-Hyung his hand and Mingi-Hyung shook it! He  _ shook  _ it!”  _ Jongho cries from the other side of the phone. Yeosang clutches his stomach as he rolls onto his back, cackling loudly into the silence of his apartment. 

“Oh my  _ God, _ ” he wheezes. “Is - oh my God, I’m going to have to ask them about that on Friday, holy shit.”

_ “I know. They’re such a mess.”  _

Yeosang hums and nods, shifting onto his back to stare up at the ceiling as he and Jongho continue to talk. And then, finally, in the early hours of the morning, Yeosang’s voice finally grows groggy as Jongho speaks slower. 

“I’ll see you Friday?” Yeosang says. 

Jongho chuckles tiredly from the other end and Yeosang feels his heart flutter in his chest. 

_ “Depends on whether or not you call me beforehand,” _ he says. Yeosang laughs, his voice hoarse with exhaustion. 

“Mm. If you’re nice, I’ll think about it,” he tells him. 

_ “I look forward to it.” _

Yeosaang giggles and shakes his head, humming again before he says, “All right. Go to sleep, we have work tomorrow. I’ll see you then.” 

_ “Ok. See you.” _

Yeosang nods and hangs up, and then he plugs his phone down and takes his glasses off. His insides feel gooey as he lies back and stares at the ceiling, smiling. And then, Yeosang’s eyes fall shut and he goes to sleep. 

Friday rolls around, and Yeosang finds himself to be rather excited as he pulls a light, loose sweater on and wiggles into a pair of skinny jeans. He grabs his sneakers by the door and is already halfway down the hall before he even gets one shoe on. 

When Yeosang finally arrives at the bowling alley, he finds Seonghwa and Hongjoong sitting in one of the booths and talking with two tall men, both of whom Yeosang recognizes from social media posts he’s seen. 

“Yeosang!” Seonghwa says, getting to his feet and waving. Yeosang waves back and he walks over, sitting down. 

“Yeosang, this is Mingi, and this is Yunho,” Hongjoong says, waving at the two Alphas. “Mingi and Yunho, this is Yeosang.” 

[ _ Loved By You _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ffA1JCu6aU)

“Nice to meet you,” Yeosang says, holding his hand out. They all shake hands and Yeosang turns to look at the door as Wooyoung and San burst into the room, yelling loudly. Jongho comes later and Yeosang watches as he greets his older brother as well as everyone else, taking a seat beside Yeosang.

The night goes smoothly, though not many of them are good at bowling. Hongjoong cheers his husband on even as Seonghwa gets gutter balls every time, and then Wooyoung risks his life when Yeosang is holding a bowling ball and the other Omega will not stop shrieking. 

“You’re drinking again,” Jongho says quietly as he slides into the space beside him. Yeosang glares at him and puts his glass down. 

“For your information, that was iced tea,” he says. Jongho shrugs. 

“Sorry,” he says. He turns back to the others, and Yeosang doesn’t miss how his arm comes up to drape over his shoulders. And, unfortunately, he doesn’t miss the pounding of his heart. He just hopes Jongho does. 

“Why didn’t you try it for yourself?” he says. Jongho looks over, tilting his head and looking confused. 

“Because you’re an adult and I’m not your dad?” he says. “Like, first of all, you’re an adult and I trust you to know to take care of yourself, and, second of all, you’re older than me. Also, it’s not my place. Maybe, like, Wooyoung-Hyung’s or something ‘cause you guys are so close, but it’s not mine.” 

Yeosang blinks a few times, confused and surprised. Jongho goes on with watching the others bowl (read:  _ try _ to bowl) as if nothing happened, totally unaware (or so it seems) to Yeosang’s internal struggle. 

_ He’s perfect, _ the Omega inside of him sighs dreamily. Yeosang mentally pinches it. 

_ He’s going to hurt you, _ Pessimist-Yeosang warns. Yeosang mentally pinches that other side of him. 

_ Both of you, shut up, _ he thinks.  _ I need to process this.  _

“Do you want me to come over, by the way?” Jongho whispers, leaning over so his breath tickles Yeosang’s ear. The other man forces himself to focus on Seonghwa struggling to lift Hongjoong up as he nods, hoping the dark lights of the alley can hide the redness of his ears and cheeks. Jongho leans against him and Yeosang, eventually, succumbs to his warmth and curls up next to him. 

“You can come over if you stay the night,” he whispers, so quiet that he’s certain that the shouts of their friends drown it out, but, when he feels Jongho still beneath him, he knows he heard and he worries about crossing a line. 

And then, before his mind can run away with him, lips press softly against the exposed skin of his shoulder and Jongho hums. 

“Sure,” he says. He draws circles on Yeosang’s hip and they continue to watch rather judgmentally as the rest of their friend group struggles with bowling. 

“You - I like this,” Jongho breathes against his lips after they separate for a few seconds. Yeosang hums. 

“Maybe I’ll wear it more if this is the reaction it gets me,” he says teasingly. Jongho growls and kisses him harshly crowding him up against the wall. 

“God, yes. It’s so hot,” he says. Yeosang runs his fingers through his hair and presses himself closer, heart fluttering in his chest.

He wakes up in Jongho’s arms. Slowly, Yeosang sits up and rubs his eyes, tugging the blanket up to his chest. The Alpha beside him grumbles and rolls onto his side and Yeosang chuckles softly, smiling down at him. 

_ Should I wake him up or should I do it later? _ he thinks, reaching over to play with Jongho’s hair. It used to be brighter, an eye-catching apple red that has slowly turned into more of a rust-color. Either way, Yeosang thinks it looks good. 

“Mmm, good morning,” Jongho says when he wakes up, smiling sleepily. He takes Yeosang’s hand and kisses the back of it, his eyes lidded and droopy. 

“Good morning,” Yeosang says softly. Jongho sits up and stretches, looking around. 

“We should do that more often,” Yeosang says quietly. Jongho looks over at him and smiles, kissing him. 

“We should,” he says softly. Yeosang feels his cheeks redden as he watches Jongho shuffle toward the bathroom, stopping to pick his clothes up along the way. 

“We’re going to the carnival soon,” Jongho says as Yeosang makes breakfast. After the third burnt egg, he decides they’re better off ordering. 

“We are,” he says as he sits down on the couch. Jongho hums and Yeosang boldly rests his head in the Alpha’s lap, shoulders loosening when he feels fingers carding through his hair. 

“You excited?” 

“Mmm.”

Jongho laughs softly, shaking his head, and Yeosang’s heart increases its ba-dump, ba-dump movements. Gosh, how did this even happen?

They get breakfast and then Jongho heads home. Yeosang watches him go, unable to stop the giddy feeling that takes his entire body over. And then he sashays back into his apartment and flops down onto the couch, kicking his feet and giggling uncontrollably. 

“I’m going to propose today,” San whispers to him as they wait for Wooyoung to finish getting ready for their carnival date. Yeosang’s heart rate spikes and he chokes on his spit, coughing lightly. 

_ No, you can’t do that, _ he thinks.  _ Not when I’m so close to finding someone. Please, I don’t want to be alone. _

“It’s about time,” is what he says instead. The lack of truth in the words makes them bitter and heavy on Yeosang’s tongue, but he smiles nonetheless. He can’t tell whether he should be proud or disgusted by his lack of selfishness. 

“Yeah,” San says. He giggles softly as Wooyoung bustles around and tries to find his sun hat. “I love him so much.” 

Yeosang nods, trying (and failing) to swallow the lump in his throat. 

“What about you and Jongho?” San says, louder this time as Wooyoung tries to find his sunglasses. 

Yeosang bites his tongue and feels his fangs scrape over it, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. 

“We’re fine,” he says. And, well, they are. But, stupidly, Yeosang is afraid - Jongho has been nothing but kind to him, and yet he’s absolutely mortified by the notion of opening himself up and being so vulnerable. 

“Just fine?” San says, startling Yeosang. “You guys seemed pretty close on Friday.” 

“Well-”

“Found it!” Wooyoung proclaims triumphantly, interrupting Yeosang. He and San look over as the other Omega makes his way over, grinning and adjusting his hat. 

“I don’t really think that you’ll be needing the hat, Wooyoungie,” San says, getting up and kissing his cheek. He curls an arm around his waist and Wooyoung pouts, crossing his arms.

“But I  _ like _ it,” he whines. San shakes his head and then they walk out, Yeosang trailing behind them. His heart rate is spiking, his chest aching in tandem with each beat, and he can’t stop the churning of his stomach at the thought of San finally proposing. Instinctively, he checks his phone for any text messages from Jongho and finds that their most recent message is still from two days ago because they aren’t a couple, so why would they ever do anything cheesy like texting each other ‘good morning’ or ‘good night’? There’s no reason for such things, not even now. 

“You okay?” Wooyoung whispers, falling back behind San. Yeosang forces a smile and nods, squeezing his hand. 

“Yeah,” he whispers back. And then, louder, he says to both of them, “I’ll see you guys there, okay? Don’t get lost making out or something!” 

Wooyoung laughs and hits him, San gaping at him and looking terribly offended as Yeosang runs off. He gets into his car and locks the doors, digging his teeth into his lower lip as he forces himself not to cry. He’s not that pathetic, is he?

Sighing, Yeosang shakes his head at himself and turns the car on, and then he begins driving. The carnival is far and he ends up following San and Wooyoung there, partly to make sure they don’t pull over somewhere to do God knows what. 

They get there some thirty minutes later, and, somehow, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are already there, looking wonderfully domestic as they eat out of the Tupperware that Seonghwa probably packed since he’s probably being overprotective about Hongjoong’s pregnancy. Then again, Yeosang can’t really blame him - Hongjoong is on his third trimester now, chubby and emotional and somehow still adorable. 

“Oh,  _ there _ you are,” Hongjoong sighs dramatically when they get over. Yeosang bites the inside of his cheek to keep from snickering as they go and sit down with them. 

“Yunho and Mingi and Jongho are already here,” he says. “They took a car together, and they went to go and get something to eat while waiting for you three. Why were you so late?” 

“He wanted to find his hat,” Yeosang says. 

Seonghwa frowns and tilts his head.

“But . . . you aren’t wearing . . . a hat?” he says. 

“Looks dumb, sounds dumb, probably did something nasty on the way here and Yeosang’s being paid to say that,” Hongjoong says, chewing loudly. Wooyoung gasps and places an offended hand on his chest while San gapes and pulls his boyfriend close to him. Yeosang’s stomach continues to churn. 

[_Blue Hour_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCMpDelurAk) and [_I Want You_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEUH-5zXFCI)

And then, before Wooyoung can continue being a drama queen, three people break through the crowd and come to sit with them. Yeosang feels his eyes widen as he stares at Jongho, digging his nails into his arms so they leave little crescent indents in the skin. 

“Hey,” Jongho says as he slides into the space beside him. Yeosang mumbles a greeting in response, looking down at the table. Mingi and Yunho are sharing a plate full of funnel cake that Jongho will sometimes steal from. The smell of the carnival is thick in Yeosang’s nose, but he still catches hints from the others. It’s . . . actually pretty nice. 

“All right, everyone needs to eat something before we go,” Seonghwa says. He leans over the table and pinches Yeosang. “Go get something to eat with Jongho. Neither of you has any food right now. Now shoo!” 

He makes a ‘move!’ motion with his hands. Jongho and Yeosang both get up. As they walk away, Yeosang feels fingers interlace with his own. His cheeks heat up and he knows he can’t say it’s from the hot summer weather because of how sudden it was. Thankfully, though, Jongho doesn’t seem to notice as they walk up to one of the snack stands and order, walking away with hotdogs and their own plate of funnel cake. 

“What do you wanna ride first?” Jongho says. Yeosang shrugs, looking around the park. 

“I know Wooyoung and San want to go on the Ferris wheel at some point,” he says. “Other than that, though, I don’t really know.” 

“We should check out the haunted house.” 

“Isn’t Mingi, like, deathly afraid of those?” Yeosang says as their table comes into view. “I mean, if I remember correctly, Yunho took him to a haunted house with you to wingman because he thought it’d get Mingi to cling to him?”

Jongho snorts and shrugs, squeezing his hand. 

“Free entertainment for us,” he says. Yeosang throws his head back and laughs as they finally make their way back to the table and sit down, eating under the watchful eye of Seonghwa.

“Now,” Wooyoung says, clapping his hands together when everyone’s had something to eat, “what do you guys want to do first?” 

Hongjoong and Seonghwa end up sitting a lot of rides out, though the rest of them don’t hold back. Well, Mingi  _ tries  _ to when it comes to the haunted house, but Yunho ends up dragging him along anyway. 

“BLAH!” one of the staff members says, jumping out at them while dressed as a zombie. Yeosang jumps, surprised, and grabs Jongho by the arm. Jongho grabs his hand, squeezing it, and they maneuver their way through the haunted house. The entire, Jongho lets Yeosang cling to him, and, when he realizes it, Yeosang’s stomach melts into a gooey pool in his sandals.

“Ferris wheel! Ferris wheel!” Wooyoung cheers after they’ve all regrouped. Hongjoong pats his stomach as Seonghwa looks questioningly at him. The Omega waves his hand and Wooyoung pumps his fist into the air triumphantly. 

“All right!” he says. He laces his fingers with San’s and kisses the top of the Alpha’s hand. “I’m going to try and find a decent bathroom. Try and get us spots in line, okay?” 

San nods, smiling and watching as he bolts. And then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little . . . geode. 

“What the hell is that,” Yeosang deadpans. San giggles and lifts the lid, proudly displaying his box made of citrine and the glittering ring inside. 

“It’s a geode box,” he says, grinning. Yeosang feels a pang of fear and jealousy as he thinks of what’s to become of his relationship with Jongho and whether or not he’ll ever have someone proposing to him.

“Lovely,” Seonghwa says, patting San on the shoulder. “However, we really should get going now. Come on, Hongjoong, let’s go get in line.” 

Hongjoong rises slowly to his feet and Yeosang watches as all of the couples (and San, though Wooyoung’s probably going to be back after hyping himself up in the dingy little porta-potty) walk off. He turns to Jongho, then, and stares at the way the lights seem to surround him in a fashion that reminds Yeosang a bit of a halo. The Alpha looks over, then, and he smiles, eyes turning to crescents as he displays his cute little teeth (no, that is not a sentence Yeosang ever thought he’d say). 

“Wanna join them?” he says. Yeosang swallows the lump in his throat. 

_ I love you, _ he thinks, while the word, “Sure,” comes out of his mouth. He and Jongho hold hands and then they walk after the others, joining them in line for the Ferris wheel. 

They get in line, and Yeosang is the first to notice that they have yet to stop holding hands. Jongho’s palm is bigger than his but his fingers are shorter and a bit stouter. Yeosang’s fingers are long and thin whereas Jongho’s are still rather long but definitely a bit thicker. Yeosang looks down once and doesn’t say anything, but, somehow, Jongho must notice because he squeezes his hand and they take a few steps forward in line. 

Time blurs there. Yeosang can’t be sure how long they spend in line, but he knows it’s a pretty long time. However, he’s hardly focused on that as he and Jongho get onto the Ferris wheel together, fingers still laced together between them. 

“Wow,” Yeosang breathes as he looks out at the carnival. The lights glitter like millions of fireflies, all coming together to form a huge sea of shining gold. His breath catches in his throat as he stares, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. 

“It’s really pretty,” Jongho says softly. Yeosang nods, the lump in his throat growing heavy. 

_ It’s really romantic here, _ he thinks about joking,  _ it’s like we’re a couple. Do you want that? Can we be a couple? _

_ Don’t ruin things, Yeosang-ah, _ he scolds himself.  _ You don’t have much time. _

The Omega forces himself to look away from the carnival tents and lights and turns to Jongho, biting his lip. 

“Jongho, I-”

Lips press against his, fleetingly, sweetly, softly. Jongho tastes like funnel cake and cotton candy, and his lips are familiar to Yeosang as he reaches up to curl his fingers in the Alpha’s hair. His heart is beating erratically and he’s certain that his scent is all over the place as he tilts his head to kiss Jongho better. 

“Wow,” Yeosang says yet again when Jongho pulls away. His cheeks are flaming red, visible even as they reach the highest point of the Ferris wheel. 

“Yeah,” Jongho says, nodding. He isn’t meeting Yeosang’s eyes. “Wow.” 

They don’t talk for the rest of the ride, but that’s soon forgotten when they get to the bottom and find San and Wooyoung screaming. 

“He said yes!” San yells for everyone else at the carnival to hear. He lifts Wooyoung’s hand into the air to show off the glittering ring on his finger. “I’m getting married!” 

“San, sweetie, please,” Seonghwa says, gently bringing his and Wooyoung’s hands down. “You’re making a scene.” 

“Yeah, San, you’re making a scene,” Mingi teases. San sticks his tongue out at him and Wooyoung kisses his now-fiancé, though Yeosang doesn’t miss the glance he sneaks at him. He smiles at his friend, trying to ignore how cold his hand has suddenly become now that Jongho’s gone over to stand closer to Yunho and Mingi. 

They say their goodbyes after that, and everyone heads home. Yeosang and Jongho pick up the rear, and Yeosang grabs Jongho’s wrist before he can get into the car. 

“I - thank you,” he says, his voice quiet. Jongho stares at him with wide eyes. “It - I’m really happy - happy that we’re friends.” 

Something flashes through Jongho’s eyes, but Yeosang isn’t fast enough to read it as the man smiles warmly at him. 

“Me too,” he says. He hugs Yeosang. “I’ll see you later?” 

Yeosang nods, blushing furiously as he waves Jongho goodbye. And then he skips to his car and drives home. 

San and Wooyoung hold their engagement party a week or so later. In the time before, Yeosang gets ready to confess. He certainly doesn’t plan to steal Wooyoung and San’s “thunder”, though he supposes he’s being a bit selfish. 

_ Then again, _ Yeosang thinks as he rolls onto his side to stare at the empty space in his bed,  _ it’s not as if Jongho will stay long enough for me to do anything other than spread my legs.  _

He sighs, shaking his head. The party is, somehow, this evening, and Yeosang still has yet to get up and get ready. He needs to get a gift and something to wear since everything else he has is, in his opinion (well, not exactly, but Wooyoung says that they’re one, so he supposes it is somewhat his opinion), not good enough for his best friend’s engagement party. 

Slowly, Yeosang drags himself out of bed. He thinks that he’ll shower before he goes, so he simply grabs a pair of sweatpants and a sweater before padding quietly into the kitchen. 

He ends up getting San and Wooyoung a bottle of expensive champagne, some scented candles, and then he orders a cutting board with the newly-engaged couple’s names carved into it. It’s supposed to arrive pretty soon, but, if it’s delayed, he can just use it as a wedding gift. 

Yeosang chuckles to himself as he curls his hair, adjusting his shirt. It’s a pastel blue chiffon blouse with light pants and some not-so-flashy jewelry. Yeosang thinks he looks nice. 

He heads to the party and gets there early, greeting Wooyoung’s mother with a hug. San’s parents come over not long after, and Yeosang is talking with them when Wooyoung hurls himself at him.

“Yeosangie!” he cries. “You’re here!” 

“Careful!” Yeosang says, tightening his grip on his gifts. Wooyoung laughs and pulls away, kissing his cheek as he takes the bags and moves them to a table that already has several gifts on it. Some jouncy orchestral cover is playing through the speakers of Wooyoung and San’s house, probably for the parents of the newly-engaged couple. Whatever the case is, Yeosang thinks it’s nice.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong are found sitting together in the living room, Hongjoong rubbing his giant stomach as Seonghwa massages his back. 

“Yeosang-ah, you’re here!” Hongjoong says happily when he sees him. Yeosang waves and goes to sit down, shifting in place and trying to be as subtle as possible as he looks for Jongho. 

“He’s not here yet if that’s what you’re doing,” Seonghwa says absent-mindedly. “You’ll have to wait a little while longer, though I’m sure he was invited.” He looks up and smiles. “Don’t worry.” 

The party goes on, and Yeosang finds that Jongho still isn’t there. He doesn’t come with Yunho and Mingi, and both of them say that they don’t know where he is when asked. Yeosang gets another drink after asking, going to find Wooyoung. He has fun with his friends and can’t help but notice how similar his friends’ engagement party is to a college party, though the thought is dismissed rather quickly. Yeosang is having fun and he’s just waiting for Jongho to come so they can find a secluded place where he can confess. 

“Do you know if he’s here yet?” he says to Wooyoung. The other Omega fakes a look of hurt before shaking his head. 

“No, he hasn’t texted anyone. Maybe you should call him, I’m sure he’d pick up for  _ you, _ ” he says, his voice teasing. Yeosang laughs nervously and tries to ignore the anxiety churning in his stomach, taking another sip from his glass in hopes of calming the sea of worry. He takes his phone out and goes to sit down, typing a quick message and then looking around. 

He doesn’t know what time it is, but he knows he’s definitely pretty tipsy when Jongho comes in. However, he’d like to think that he’s not tipsy enough that Jongho would dismiss his confession. 

“You can do it, Sang-ah,” Seonghwa says encouragingly. 

“Chase your dreams!” Hongjoong cheers as Yeosang gets to his feet, his heart pounding louder with each step he takes toward Jongho. 

_ You can do it, you can do it, _ he thinks, digging his nails into his palms.  _ You can do it. _

Jongho’s back is to him, and Yeosang is half-tempted to leap at him and pull him into a hug. 

“Jongho?” he says, though his voice is drowned out by those of the other partygoers. He walks forward, reaching out, and then . . .

And then Jongho moves to the side and suddenly all of the air is leaving Yeosang’s lungs because Jongho brought someone with him. A pretty male Omega from the looks of it, dainty and round-eyed and beautiful. 

Yeosang swears that his heart shatters the moment Jongho catches him staring. But then, just as quickly, Yeosang builds his walls up again and flees, racing up the stairs to one of the upstairs bathrooms. 

[ _ idfc (acoustic) _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N89TPQdX2o)

Yeosang doesn’t know if it’s possible, but, if asked, he’s going to say he cried so much he threw up. The remnants of his dinner should be enough proof of such, as should the tears streaming down his cheeks as he hunches over the toilet and sobs. He thanks his lucky stars that he locked the bathroom door beforehand because it would be even worse if someone walked in on him right now. 

_ Oh my God, _ he thinks as he vomits again.  _ Oh my God, I’m so stupid. I can’t believe it. _

He sobs as he vomits again, shaking violently. Everything hurts, even though he shouldn’t have cared in the first place. He and Jongho are not  _ friends, _ they never were, and they never will be. It was just a way to blow off steam, to calm down. There was nothing between them, and Yeosang was so stupid for assuming. 

A knock on the bathroom door startles him out of his thoughts, and Yeosang’s head jerks up as he looks fearfully at the door, his heart thundering and his head pounding. 

“Yeosang-ah?” Seonghwa says softly from the other side of the door. “Yeosang, are you in there?”

“It’s Seonghwa and Hongjoong,” Hongjoong says, his voice just as soft and quiet. Yeosang sobs and shivers as he reaches for the door, fumbling until he unlocks it. 

“Hey,” Seonghwa says when he and Hongjoong come in. They both sit down and Seonghwa begins rubbing his back as Yeosang continues to vomit, crying all the while. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Hongjoong asks once Yeosang’s wiping his mouth with a piece of toilet paper.

He stares blankly at the pristine white toilet seat and listens to the sound of the water rushing about as the vomit is flushed down.

“No,” he finally says. He looks down at his hands. “It was just me jumping to conclusions.” He sighs. “Again.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong are looking at each other, he’s sure of it, but Yeosang just doesn’t have the strength to get angry with them. He simply sighs and rubs his eyes, shaking his head as he slowly gets to his feet. 

“Can one of you guys tell Wooyoung and San that I’m not - that I wasn’t feeling well so I went home? I’m heading to a bar,” Yeosang says. Seonghwa and Hongjoong both look like they want to protest, but Yeosang’s already heading down the stairs, grabbing his shoes on his way out before going to his car. 

The days begin to blur after that. Yeosang doesn’t know what to do anymore. He blocks Jongho’s number but keeps their texts, though he doesn’t quite know why. Jongho unfollows him on Instagram and Yeosang pretends not to care, closing the app and rolling onto his side to stare out the window. 

Wooyoung, as per usual, comes in as his saving grace. He wants Yeosang to help him with wedding preparations, so that’s what he does. He dyes his hair black too, just because he needs to feel like he has some semblance of control in his life. 

Yeosang shakes his head at himself as he lies back on his bed. He’s been drinking again; he knows he shouldn’t be. 

“That,” Yeosang says, “is complete and utter bullshit.” He looks for the bottle he left on his bedside table. “Fuckin’ asshole coming into my life like I need fixing. Ha!” He lifts his middle finger and shakes it at the ceiling. “Go fuck yourself, Jongho! I don’t need you! I’m fine!” 

_ You are not fine, _ a voice that sounds suspiciously like Seonghwa says.  _ You are a borderline alcoholic and you are wasting your time here. Text the damn guy or someone because we all know you need to talk about it. Just  _ text _ someone. _

Yeosang glares at the ceiling, imagining Seonghwa’s stupid face there. Seonghwa would probably tell him that it’s what’s best, that he never got any  _ real _ closure from Jongho, that he doesn’t know what’s going on. Wooyoung would slap him and tell him to get his shit together because he had something with Jongho and he’s just jumping to conclusions. 

The sad, hurt part of Yeosang cries and tugs him back, flashing the scars on his heart. It ties Yeosang down and makes him reach for the bottle again, tears distorting his vision as his head swims. 

But he must do something, because, while lying in bed, his cheeks still wet with tears, Yeosang hears a knock on the door. 

Slowly, the Omega gets to his feet. His steps are fumbling, all too fast and too slow at the same time. His eyes hurt, his chest hurts, his heart hurts, his head hurts - everything hurts, but, for some reason, Yeosang keeps going as he opens the door. 

Standing there is none other than Choi Jongho. Yeosang’s heart, drunk or not, leaps into his throat and desperately attempts to escape so it can offer itself to the Alpha before him once again. Yeosang slams it down and crosses his arms. 

“What - what do you want?” he slurs. Jongho arches an eyebrow, shrugging. 

“You texted me,” he says. “I told you I was coming over, didn’t I?” 

Yeosang feels anger and hopefulness and heartbreak crash into him all at once. He drowns in the tidal wave, digging his nails into his skin. 

“Fuck off,” he spits. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” 

Jongho shrugs again, and Yeosang hates him for how nonchalant he seems. 

“You should stop drinking,” Jongho tells him quietly. Yeosang tightens his grip on the door and wishes his lip would stop quivering as he glares at the other man. 

“Fuck you, you’re not my dad,” he says. Jongho shrugs. 

“Yeah, but I still don’t want to have you die. I don’t-”

“You don’t give a shit about me, Jongho,” Yeosang snaps. He musters up the best glare he can, despite knowing that he’s going to burst into tears the moment the door closes. “Get out of my life, bastard. I don’t want to see you again.” 

With that, Yeosang slams the door and locks it, then he sinks to the floor and cries. His face buries itself in his knees as he snivels and sobs, hugging his legs to his chest as he tries to erase the hurt he saw in Jongho’s eyes from his memory.

Yeosang’s life seems to escape from his hands after that. He doesn’t know anything anymore, not now, and, unfortunately, it feels like he won’t ever. He doesn’t know why, though he wishes he did - everything just seems to have stopped making sense. 

[ _ Sometime Around Midnight - Acoustic _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S8m-IZIOLQ)

Time, however, does not stop just because Yeosang has. And, soon enough, Yeosang finds himself at one of those work parties he met Jongho at. He holds his drink tightly and chews on his lower lip, heart thundering. 

_ Please, _ he thinks,  _ please don’t come. Anything would be better than Jongho coming. _

Yeosang shakes his head at himself and turns away, bringing his cup to his lips. He adjusts his skirt and glances around the room, praying to be left alone, especially by Jongho. 

Of course, though, someone like Yeosang can’t be that lucky. Because, not long after he wishes to be left alone, someone else enters the party. Yeosang tenses when he sees Jongho, his breath catching in his throat. 

_ Jongho, _ he thinks to himself, lips forming silently around the name. Jongho looks around nervously until his eyes finally land on Yeosang and the Omega’s heart rate spikes. He presses himself closer to the bar and tries to dig his nails into the smooth stone, though it’s obviously of no use. 

And then, Jongho is coming toward him. He moves slowly and surely, probably because he knows no one has any reason to stop him. Yeosang would be surprised if it was still a secret that they were sleeping together. 

“Yeosang-”

He bolts. He curses his stupid flats as he zigzags through the maze of people, having left his drink at the bar. He won’t be needing it anymore, as it’s not like he’s going to be coming back after this. He just has to get to his car. 

“Yeosang, wait!” 

_ No. _

Yeosang runs as fast as he can, stumbling out of the door and into the rain. He kicks his shoes off (stupidly, but it’s the middle of summer and Yeosang would rather not fall on his face because he trips on his shoes) and holds one in each hand, blinking rapidly as he runs. The rain clouds his vision or maybe he’s had more to drink than he thought, though Yeosang can’t be sure of anything right now. He’s too terrified of his (probably) inevitable confrontation with Jongho, and he’s far too stubborn to have it be now. He’s still not ready, though something tells him that he won’t ever truly be. 

_ Just run, _ Yeosang tells himself when the sound of someone chasing after him reaches his ears.  _ You can do it, you just have to remember where your car is. _

“Yeosang, goddammit, hold on!” 

Yeosang wipes his eyes as he runs, shaking his head as he continues to search for the familiar sight of his car. He can’t stop, not now, not until he’s in the safety of his car again. Then he’ll be able to stop. 

But, somehow, Jongho manages to catch up. He grabs Yeosang’s wrist and simply stops running, and, because Yeosang is smaller and lighter than Jongho, he too is forced to stop. However, that doesn’t mean he can’t turn around and glare at the Alpha. 

“Let. Me.  _ Go, _ ” he growls through gritted teeth, hair clumping together from a mixture of rain and washed-out product. “I don’t want to talk to you.” 

“Yeah, well, we have to talk because I don’t know what the fuck I did to you that made you so angry,” Jongho snaps. 

Yeosang tugs his wrist away and crosses his arms. 

“Fucking fine,” he says. He drops his shoes on the ground and slides them on. “Let’s go find somewhere to . . . talk or whatever. I’m not doing it at my place or out here.” 

“Fine with me,” Jongho says. Yeosang follows him until they reach a shitty restaurant, heading inside to sit at a table for two. 

“So,” Jongho says, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt, “why are you so mad at me?” 

“I just don’t want to see you anymore,” Yeosang says, avoiding his eyes and crossing his arms. “Is it that bad?” 

“Yeah, ‘cause you blocked me and you bolted the moment you saw me.” Jongho leans forward and Yeosang leans back. “Did I do something wrong? I thought-”

“Fuck whatever you thought, okay?” Yeosang says. “I just don’t wanna do this anymore. People can have different opinions, you know that, right?” 

“I do, but I also feel like I did something wrong and you’ve just chosen not to tell me.” 

“I don’t owe you shit.” 

“Yeah, well, when you text me to come over while you’re drunk out of your mind, it raises a few suspicions,” Jongho says. He sits back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. He re-dyed his hair, so it’s back to a bright apple red. Yeosang forces himself to keep from reaching out to touch it. 

“It was an accident.” 

“Bullshit,” Jongho snaps. He’s . . . he actually seems angry, for the first time ever since Yeosang’s met him, Jongho seems angry. His brow is furrowed, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw is clenched. “Cut it out, Yeosang. I didn’t come here to listen to you lie to me.”

“Why do you care?” Yeosang hisses. “We aren’t friends. We aren’t lovers, we aren’t any of that shit. We’re just . . .” he looks down at his hands, digging his nails into his palms, “we’re fuckbuddies. That’s it.” 

Jongho stares at him for a long time, and, somehow, Yeosang thinks that he’s won. Slowly, he lifts his head, but his breath leaves his lungs in a quiet gasp when he looks up. 

Jongho is crying. He’s trying to hide it, clearly, but . . . he’s crying. Jongho has tears in his eyes, sliding slowly down his cheeks. There isn’t any rain left on his skin for him to pretend that anything else is going on, so he simply wipes his eyes with his sleeves and hands, avoiding Yeosang’s gaze.

“Well, fine, then,” he finally says, his voice hoarse. “I guess I - if - if that’s how you feel, then that’s fucking fine. I don’t care anymore.” He pushes himself away from the table and walks away, his chair clattering behind him. Yeosang gapes at his retreating form, unable to function.

He doesn’t know how long it takes for him to realize that he’s supposed to chase after Jongho now. So, Yeosang grabs his bag and gets up, and then he runs out into the rain. 

“Jongho!” he yells. “Jongho, where are you?” 

The rain is loud, and Yeosang just hopes that it doesn’t drown out the sound of his voice. His head pounds as he looks around, squinting against the rain. 

“Jongho!” he yells again, lifting a hand to cup the side of his mouth. “Jongho!” 

The sight of a pair of glowing headlights has Yeosang doing a double-take before he throws himself out of the road. 

_ Shit, _ he thinks.  _ I hadn’t realized- _

“What?”

Yeosang looks up from the car and stares at Jongho with wide eyes, taking in the sight of him. His eyes are puffy and his face is tinged red, probably because it’s cold and he’s been crying. His lips are pulled thin over his teeth and Yeosang’s heart thunders in his chest.

Before he can think about it, Yeosang hurls himself forward, grabbing Jongho by the tie and tugging him close to press their lips together. Jongho, at first, doesn’t respond, and fear flashes briefly through Yeosang. But then, Jongho is kissing him softly, sadly, and he’s holding him by the hips. Yeosang finally pulls away for air and stares at him, his eyes lidded. 

_ Now, _ a voice that sounds a lot like Wooyoung’s tells him,  _ do it now. _

“I love you.” 

_ Oh my God. _

The thought seems to be mirrored on Jongho’s face. His jaw drops and he stares at Yeosang, his eyes huge and wide with surprise. 

Yeosang wipes the rain (and tears, though he’ll never admit it) away from his eyes and bites his lip, looking up at Jongho through his eyelashes. 

“I know,” he whispers hoarsely, “I know that it - that it doesn’t seem like I do or something, but I really - I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”  _ Keep going. _ “And I want - I want to date you.” 

Jongho’s lack of response makes his stomach curl and Yeosang’s grip on Jongho’s tie loosens, but then he’s being kissed again. It’s time for a role reversal because Yeosang is at first too surprised to say anything. He can’t help melting into it, though, tugging Jongho impossibly closer and sniffling softly. 

“I love you too,” Jongho whispers against his lips. “I love you so much, Hyung, I don’t - I’m so sorry, I just-”

“I thought you were with someone else,” Yeosang breathes, leaning their foreheads together. “I was so scared, I thought that-”

“At Wooyoung-Hyung and San-Hyung’s engagement party?” Jongho says hoarsely. Yeosang nods and Jongho kisses his forehead, chuckling. “That was the friend of a friend. His name’s Felix.” 

“Well, he’s going to have to stay away from you, ‘cause you’re mine now,” Yeosang says, giggly and breathless as he kisses Jongho again. Jongho laughs and tugs him closer. 

“Okay,” he says softly. He smiles at him. “But I think we should head home soon. We don’t want to get sick, do we?” 

Yeosang laughs and hugs him. 

“My place?” he says softly. Jongho hums and nods, and then together they drive back to Yeosang's apartment.


End file.
